I was in the mountains then, the moon darting between trees and hills. A thought crossed my mind that it was probably good that I knew this road... Since I was still on autopilot. The two lane highway seemed too narrow for two cars as it wound it's way between trees and rock. The other side was a sheer drop down to a huge river. I finally found what I was looking for and turned off onto a gravel road, there was a huge wrought iron gate so I put my car in park and jumped out to open it. The key was where it always had been, hidden behind a loose brick in the large wall that disappeared in both directions. The lock hadn't been used in a long time, so it took a few tries to get the rusty key to turn without breaking. I put the lock and key in my coat pocket and shoved the gate hard, it slowly swung open and I climbed back in my car and drove through. The gravel road wound through the huge trees that had been lining the highway. It was so dark that I had to drive slower than normal. I finally broke through the trees at the top of the hill and parked. I hadn't been here in years.
After a few minutes I finally opened the door and climbed out of my car. From my back seat I pulled my two suitcases and threw my laptop bag over my shoulder. The large log cabin behind me was dark and empty, I knew it would be freezing inside as well. Not to mention the spiders, mice and other critters that I was going to have to run out... I turned and looked at the cabin while kicking the door of my car shut with my foot. Big sigh, straighten your back. You choose this place, don't complain. I started for the front door, dragging my suitcase on wheels behind me and up the wooden stairs. The second key attached to the tiny key ring hidden in the brick wall opened the door of the cabin. Thankfully it wasn't as rusted as the gate lock...
I pushed the door open with my back and wheeled my suitcase in the dark cabin. Blindly, I felt my way along the wall for the light switch and then flipped it on when I found it. The cabin was dusty... and smelly a little mildewed.. All the furniture had the same white sheets thrown over them that we threw on them when I last left this place. I remember Mom singing and trying to get me to cheer up. I always hated going back to the city. That was the same year she died, and I hadn't been back since. It's funny how the only place you love can become the place you hate so quickly. I never knew the story between her and my father.. I never asked. The first time I did she said he was dead and I left it alone. I knew that it was a mistake to try and find him.. I don't know why it mattered anyways. I justified trying to find a dead man by saying that I needed closure.. Needed to know who he was. I never dreamed that Kaycee would find him alive. Now everything hurt, and everything I knew was wrong. Why had Mom lied? Did I really want to know this man? Did he know about me? Had he hurt Mom in some way? Would knowing that I knew about my father kill Mom all over again? How was I going to deal with this? What was I thinking?
After a few minutes I finally opened the door and climbed out of my car. From my back seat I pulled my two suitcases and threw my laptop bag over my shoulder. The large log cabin behind me was dark and empty, I knew it would be freezing inside as well. Not to mention the spiders, mice and other critters that I was going to have to run out... I turned and looked at the cabin while kicking the door of my car shut with my foot. Big sigh, straighten your back. You choose this place, don't complain. I started for the front door, dragging my suitcase on wheels behind me and up the wooden stairs. The second key attached to the tiny key ring hidden in the brick wall opened the door of the cabin. Thankfully it wasn't as rusted as the gate lock...
I pushed the door open with my back and wheeled my suitcase in the dark cabin. Blindly, I felt my way along the wall for the light switch and then flipped it on when I found it. The cabin was dusty... and smelly a little mildewed.. All the furniture had the same white sheets thrown over them that we threw on them when I last left this place. I remember Mom singing and trying to get me to cheer up. I always hated going back to the city. That was the same year she died, and I hadn't been back since. It's funny how the only place you love can become the place you hate so quickly. I never knew the story between her and my father.. I never asked. The first time I did she said he was dead and I left it alone. I knew that it was a mistake to try and find him.. I don't know why it mattered anyways. I justified trying to find a dead man by saying that I needed closure.. Needed to know who he was. I never dreamed that Kaycee would find him alive. Now everything hurt, and everything I knew was wrong. Why had Mom lied? Did I really want to know this man? Did he know about me? Had he hurt Mom in some way? Would knowing that I knew about my father kill Mom all over again? How was I going to deal with this? What was I thinking?


No comments:
Post a Comment